It has been 15 long hard days of pain. Learning to deal with pain is something all of us will experience sometime in life. Today is the start of a new chapter of my life. I want to thank all my amazing close friends for the help and support. I do believe people are placed into our lives for a reason although they may not be who they appeared they were at the begining it is for a reason. That reason does come with pain. Some people like myself have a inner person that gives everything they have to the people that enter their lives. THIS IS NEVER APPRECIATED. is used as a sign of weakness. I/we have to learn to take care of ourselves more then another person as we are the most important person in our lives. Loyalty, honesty and faithfulness is most important when you open your life to someone. If they don't have that trait your road is leading down a dead end street. That leads to the pain.
You start to doubt yourself as a person and reevaluate your life, some good some bad. I felt all of this is the last 15 days. I now know that I am a solid good person. Although there are things that I need to work on for myself as we are not perfect. I do know that I do give 150% of myself to people and I need to cut that down to at least 80% this leaves more room for myself.
With the bad comes the good. It is strange how that happens but through my pain amazing things happened career wise that I guess are also signs that I am a good person and this is a new chapter of my life. We cannot change people we can only guide them and help them with our knowledge and experience. People have to want to change before anything can move forward.
This has been the worst holiday of my life and the most painful. This has also been one of the most trying times for me as a person. I do know this. 2009 is going to be a very special year for me as it is time for me to put that 150% into myself. There is no stopping me now. May all of you find what you are looking for in life.
One thing I can say for sure. The most loyalty and respect you will ever get is from a pet. I have found that with my little angel Stella Blue. Although she had to suffer my pain as well she also kept me off the path of destruction. It is amazing that something that weighs 11 pounds has so much power. I love you Stella